Facebook Fan Pages

•February 16, 2010 • Leave a Comment

How many people do you think I could get to join the group “Simply Fanning a Page in support of a cause on Facebook does nothing to contribute to actually solving any of life’s problems, you ignorant, lazy, self-entitled fuck”.

Sound like a winner?


41 weeks and 4 days

•February 16, 2010 • Leave a Comment

Hi blog.  Yes, I’m a bitch.  And no,  I won’t apologize for mot posting on you, because fuck you.  You’re really just 1s and 0s.  I just noticed that almost all of my last posts are post apologizing for not posting.  How fucking cliche is that?  Please.  And what is that last post?  Something about Barbie?  Why in Whatever it’s Most Uncouth to take the Name of in Vain’s Name Today’s name did I believe that was blog worthy?  Obviously, I haven’t deserved the privileged TO be blogging lately.

I think this was the problem.  What on Earth is this blog’s point?  There is no point.  The point was, well, here are some things that kinda piss me off…and then here are some things that I kinda think are cool, and here’s some shit that me and my friends did that we think was the dopest shit ever, but no one else will ever care…so here is my pledge to you.  I will attempt to be more focused.  I played with the idea of trying to start another…thing…(I hesitate to say blog because I’m not sure that’s exactly what it will be…)  But no.  I will not orphan yet another tiny piece of my consciousness in cyberspace, and rebirth another one that is very, very likely to only suffer the same fate.  I won’t even go and delete the posts that I look at now and think are completely ridiculous now.  No, they will exist as a reminder of what not to do.  (And hey, I still really really like the name.)

Was I saying something about having a point?  Oh yeah.  Fail so far, obviously.

I hate you and everything you stand for.  But I am one of you in the very very worst way.

I will try and explain.

Newsflash: Barbie is a tramp

•April 30, 2009 • Leave a Comment

Shocking, I know.

Read the full saga of Tramp Stamp Barbie.

Gots to go get me a new tattoo soon.

Red Green Green Blue Blue Orange. Bah, stupid orange!

•March 31, 2009 • Leave a Comment

Yes, I have not been posting.  I bought Guitar Hero World Tour for my Wii.  The whole shebang, drums and everything.

This makes me happy.

Stupid orange still bothers me.  The Guitar Hero people do not seem to understand that when there are more buttons than fingers that this is a problem.

How long?

•March 24, 2009 • 1 Comment

Something strange and terrible has happened to my sense of time.  Although I have periodically breated myself for being such a bad little blogger, when I looked and saw that it has almost been a month since I posted anything, I was a little blown away.  Holy Hellfire, where has the time gone?

There is a little note on the office calender pointing to Monday two weeks ago.  That was put there because I was absoloutly steadfastly convinced that our office cottage getaway weekend was that coming weekend.  And was completely panicing because of the bazillion things I had to do before we went away.  Even when taken slowly, step by step through the calender, I couldn’t believe that it was actually the week after.  I had completely lost a full week, somewhere in my rattled little brain.  The same thing seems to have happened again.

What has happened between then and now?

Knees have been broken, apartments have been mover, Guitar Hero World Tour has been purchased, pillows have been fought with, my stupid driver’s licence has finally been reobtained…and so on, and so on, and so on.  How/when did I get so busy?

Yup…still awake

•February 27, 2009 • 1 Comment

It’s true.  If you take the sleeping pills for ‘longer than recommended by your medical professional’ they do stop working.  Bullshit, says I.  Don’t take anything to help you sleep, and you can’t sleep.  Take something that helps you sleep too much, and you can’t sleep.  But now it’s even more aggravating, because there was that tantalizing 2 weeks there where you could actually experience what it’s like to function as one of those normal sleeper types.  Actually, once this current rage runs its course, I think I’ll actually be OK with this turn of events.  I think all that extra rest was making me soft.  Not as productive.  If I’m working at a reasonable pace in a good state of mind with a clearly defined workback schedule that can be achieved in a perfectly reasonable amount of time…then I’m either on Facebook all day until said formerly reasonable deadline has devolved to the point of holy-mother-of god-I-am-so-fucked, or I will volunteer to take on seven other projects at the same time, therefore completely screwing myself.  The exhaustion and panic make me more creative and effective.  I always maintained in school that I wasn’t a procrastonator, just that I was waiting until the time that would evoke my most productive state of mind.

There are other pluses to this condition…i.e. more time to indulge in my curreny lezzy crush, Amanda Palmer, who is super georgeous and amazing.

This song has had the added benefit of, via Facebook status update and ensuing comment storm today, leading to my discovery of the wonderful interobang‽  Which I adore.  Obviously. The best line in that comment thread was a random from my sister Mufin: “Ëvërythïng’s mörë mëtäl wïth ümläüts.”  To which I replied:  “• everything•s • more • polka • with • dots •”.  Which I stand by, and still believe to be true.

And besides, this way I get to spend more time with my dear friend, my blog.

Fuck it anyway.  Sleep is for the weak.

What am I doing right now vs. what should I be doing ~ a comparitive study

•February 27, 2009 • Leave a Comment

Let’s discuss.

I should be:

Packing up all the shit on my desk.  Wiping the hard drive on the computer on my desk so I can give it to charity.  Dismantling my desk so I can throw it out.  Doing dishes (which I’ve alreadyy set to soak, so if my lazy ass doesn’t get to them now they’re going to be super juicy and stinky in the morning.  I trick I often use to force myself to do dishes when I don’t feel like it.  Does it ever help, no).  Doing laundry.  Generally making my slumbag of an apartment presentable because people are crashing here this weekend.  Waxing my legs.  Moving my bed so that my new bed will get put together by the friendly delivery people tomorrow (because there is no way in hell that I want to be responsible for putting that together myself).  Moving my bike from the landing in my apartment so that said friendly delivery people can get my new bed into my apartment tomorrow.  Getting a head start on the work I have to do tomorrow so that I’ll actually be able to run home and let the delivery people in with my new bed.  Bathing.  Eating.  Sleeping.

I am: (after utterly failing at one chore, getting new keys cut, because the hardware store was already closed by the time I got there)

Discussing my concert attendance plans for this coming June.  Uploading photos to Facebook.  Blogging about the awesome pimp hat I made for Mr. Office Skull.  Talking on the phone to everyone I know for hours on end about nothing relevant.  Wondering why Firefox’s spell check isn’t working when I blog?  Pondering my new favorite punctuation mark, the interrobang Washing my new sheets (which, while useful, I realized actually redundant, because by doing this I am depriving myself of that crawl-into-the-bed-with-sheets-fresh-from-the-dryer feeling, and will therefore be redryering them tomorrow).  Being very amused by the fact that my blog in getting search traffc from the term “nipple sucking in public”.  (Sorry perverts, you have to be my Facebook friend to see those pictures.)  Reading Fxxk My Life.  Drinking a beer.  Tweeting about my blog.  Updating my Facebook Status with Amanda Palmer
lyrics.  Lying in bed.

And, to add insult to injury…obviously I have now decided to delay myself even further from acomplishing anything even remotly useful, by writing a blog post about how lazy/useless/distractable I am.  Point proven, and thensome, methinks.